You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They took my balls.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
