she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
