I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I take back everything I said about communal showers
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
