At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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