My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
