I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We need a shit load of segways right now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
