You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
