Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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