I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
