i can't believe i had my finger in that
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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