i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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