dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
