i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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