Porn is love you can see.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
