I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
