fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
