Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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