Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I just sharted jello shots
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