i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
