I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
