Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My vagina is officially offended.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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