I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He better not be in your backpack
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
