is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
