no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
