Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
