He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
