He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
