wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
handjob tips. give me some.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
