Who wears a wallet chain?!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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