you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
