one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
