so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You were trust falling into bushes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
