is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He? As in you personified your dick?
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