there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
