I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
