He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she pinky promised me she was 18
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
