how can u be prego again
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
