Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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