ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
