So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
