How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
