Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
