the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
