i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hippo gnu deer
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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