Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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