You made me cry and you don't even care
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
