I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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