So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
