seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
