TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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