You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
