her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
