Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just high enough for therapy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
