I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
